Temper Tantrums: A Pound Of Prevention And 16 Pounds Of Cure

Temper tantrums aren’t usually thought of as totally preventable or totally curable. Most parenting advice givers unapologetically advise that temper tantrums are a natural, normal, and highly unavoidable part of raising kids. They will, however give ideas for preventing some of the tantrums by conscientiously avoiding tantrum triggers such as hunger, tiredness, and frustration.

You might decide to continue thinking that tantrums are unavoidable and here to stay, simply because parenting experts throughout generations continue to tell us they are. If so, you won’t get any argument from me. I’ll just stay quiet like I’ve been over the past thirty-four years while impatiently preparing for sharing my tantrum prevention and elimination secrets with others. But if, however, you can open your thinking to the probability that temper tantrums could actually be 100 percent preventable as well as curable, I’m belatedly ready to share.

My first five children, as babies, all threw tantrums…my last eight kids didn’t. My fifth baby, at the age of 14 months, was done with throwing tantrums in about a week after I was able to figure out what I needed to change with my parenting methods. Since I did that I’ve thoroughly and persistently tested out my tantrum and anger management techniques with personal research on my own kids, and I’ve assessed most mainstream parenting techniques over a forty-year period.

For examples, I figured out how to achieve overall cooperation from toddlers, how to quite easily extricate myself from the arguments kids and teens rope parents into, and how to figure out the precisely perfect duration of children’s groundings. Also, I’ve been able to detail the reasons why time-outs are a highly dysfunctional discipline method, one that isn’t nearly as beneficial as others are.

I share with other parents, all of those parenting skills, plus more. The biggest thing I give, though, is the curative and preventive methods needed to totally eliminate temper tantrums from children’s behavioral repertoire.

Learn about eliminating and preventingtemper tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott’s site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.

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Temper Tantrums: A Pound Of Prevention And 16 Pounds Of Cure



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How Parenting Experts Came To The Conclusion That Tantrums Are Universal

I:0:T The beginning step in bringing up children who are totally free of tantrums all of their childhood days is to stop subscribing to what the parenting experts have been advising us-that tantrums are normal and natural and highly inevitable and unpreventable when raising children. This concept is simply untrue. Virtually all kids could be raised tantrum-free if only the parents knew how to accomplish it. I can teach you how. My first five children, as babies, all threw tantrums, but my last eight didn’t. When my fifth was fourteen months old, I learned what needed to be changed in my parenting style, and by one week or so he had totally stopped throwing tantrums. My last eight babies never threw temper tantrums because I’d taught them from the time they were born to trust me to respond the way they needed me to when they were angry.

Where did this tantrum-universality misconception come from-besides being handed down through the generations? I’m not sure, on average, how many kids each parenting expert has had, but from my limited pre-Internet, pre-Wikipedia research about twenty years ago, it seemed like it was maybe one or two and hasn’t likely increased since then. Most book-writing parenting experts don’t seem to disclose how many kids they’ve had. We often have to guess by the number of people they dedicate their books to. It’s true.

I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven’t stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.

So, this is how I think the tantrum-universality misconception came to life. The parenting experts (who got that way mainly from attending college and not so much from having and raising kids) typically have a greater-than-average need to look like perfect parents. Because they are calling themselves expert parents, there is an implication that they are almost perfect at the job.

But shortly after becoming parents, the bulk of these experts find their own children throwing tantrums. This proves out their textbook learning about tantrum universality, because if even the experts (themselves) have tantrum-throwing children, of course no inexpert parent could do any better, right? Wrong. There have been millions of parents of the inexpert variety who have raised tantrum-free kids. I think tantrum-free child rearing is generally possible, and preferable. Compared to the alternative, it’s also a more enjoyable form of parenting for all parties involved, including the general public. I can help you learn how to create a parenting style totally free of tantrums.

Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott’s site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.

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How Parenting Experts Came To The Conclusion That Tantrums Are Universal



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Parenting Books: Expert Parenting Advice Versus Mentoring

I:0:T I began reading parenting books about forty-four years ago. Wow! I really have been parenting that long. Just recently I “retired” from actively parenting minor children. My youngest of thirteen just turned twenty-one. In the very beginning, I started reading parenting books because I wanted to learn all about becoming the best mother I could be, and also because my first child threw temper tantrums that I wanted to learn how to eliminate. Yet I didn’t find any tantrum-elimination techniques taught in any of the parenting books I read. And I didn’t find these techniques taught in any of the parenting seminars I went to, either.

I learned by myself how to eliminate tantrums when my fifth child was fourteen months old. (Each of my babies had been tantrum throwers up to that point.) After I figured out what I needed to change in my parenting style with my fifth baby, I used the same techniques with my last eight children from the time they were each born, and it totally prevented temper tantrums in all of them. I also learned, through my experience with preventing tantrums, that the parenting books I had read up to that point had mostly steered me wrong. They had been telling me temper tantrums are unpreventable and inevitable and to simply ignore them. On top of learning (with my fifth child) that it is entirely possible to eliminate temper tantrums, I learned that ignoring tantrums had been part of the cause of them with my first five children.

I learned that I shouldn’t trust expert parenting advice without first testing or assessing it. I realized that I had been able to learn valuable techniques that the “experts” hadn’t.

I came to see that as people set themselves up to be the “experts” in helping relationships, there is the accompanying connotation that they are the wise, functional, educated, and healthy ones, and their advisees are unwise, dysfunctional, uneducated, and unhealthy ones. This is another reason I don’t like the use of the term, “expert.” I prefer to use the term, mentor, which can be defined as a wise and trusted person who teaches or advises. This definition implies that this trust is earned and the wisdom is valid. It does not imply that the advisee is unwise.

It took thirty-three years to prepare for, partially by earning a bachelor’s degree in women’s studies and psychology, and to write what I learned about temper tantrum prevention and elimination as my first parenting book. This is the kind of parenting book I needed to read more than forty-four years ago. But it’s only just now available.

Looking to find the best deal on parenting books, then visit www.example.com to find the best advice on a parenting book for you.

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Parenting Books: Expert Parenting Advice Versus Mentoring



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